Couple trades house for daughter

The Martwick family will welcome JaiLi Rose as their daughter this Fall. Photo Submitted

Many couples delay starting a family until they feel financially secure. Darwin “Marty” and Melissa Martwick of Liberal took a radically different approach: in order to fund the adoption of their daughter, they sold their house. 

Friday, friends and family of the Martwicks will chip in as well at a benefit dinner and auction from 4 to 8 p.m. at the Mary Frame Park building. The event will help offset the costs of the Martwicks’ adoption of daughter JaiLi Rose, 2 months, from Taiwan. Among the auction items are services such as oil changes, termite inspections and housecleaning, creations by local quilters and craftsmen, and items like Tupperware, deadbolt locks and cell phones. Dinner is $6 a plate for a sloppy joe meal with chips, pickle, dessert and drink.

“People have been so encouraging, and we really appreciate it,” Marty said. “We are already sending monthly support for JaiLi, and there’s still a lot of paperwork to file and finish, a court hearing, and then the trip to Taiwan to bring her home. You have to come up with large lump sums at different times in the process.”

The process has been a long one for the Martwicks, who have pursued adoption for more than three years. Last August, Marty said, the couple refocused their efforts.

“We had tried to work with different agencies here in the United States, the foster care system, a group from India, but nothing worked out,” he said. 

They were also discouraged by the sense that adoption was handled almost like a commodity by some entities. Expenses varied from $20,000 to adopt a child in the U.S. to $45,000 for one from Guatemalan. The ranking system, which charged more for Caucasian children than those of other races, rankled Marty. 

“It’s not right to say one child is more valuable than another,” he said. “I finally said, ‘Let’s do something else.’”

When a friend told them about “two ladies in Taiwan who had started a little orphanage,” working on a small scale with a modest budget, the Martwicks felt a cautious optimism.

“When we checked it out, we felt hopeful for the first time in a long time,” Melissa said. 

The Martwicks filled out the first batch of paperwork, a process that took up the latter part of 2009; they completed a home study, passed background checks, provided financial and employment records, applied for passports. Everything cost money. The up-front costs of adoption, even a modestly-priced one, were daunting. 

“We came to this bridge—” Marty said, 
”— and we had to ask, ‘What do we want more? A house or a baby?” Melissa finished. When the Martwicks were newlyweds, they rented houses for six years before they purchased their own. They spent three years remodeling — “We even put in a brand-new kitchen,” Melissa said — and had finally arrived at the home they’d dreamed about. 

“A lot of people couldn’t understand what we were doing when we decided to sell our house to free up money for adoption,” Marty said, “but the way I see it, we can start over together, the three of us.”
They put the house on the market a bit before Christmas; it sold by January 1. 

Six months later, they received the news: a newborn girl had just been surrendered to the orphanage. Since their name was at the top of the list, she was their daughter.

The circumstances that form their fledgling family might be unusual, but the Martwicks are like any soon-to-be parents as they anticipate the arrival of JaiLi Rose, who currently lives in the His Hands orphanage in Taiwan. 

In the bedroom that will be hers, stuffed animals and a few dolls line up on a dresser top. Tiny outfits in girly colors await their owner. Pink-and-brown polka dot decals brighten the walls and match the crib linens. Above the bed, JaiLi’s name is spelled out on a plaque, along with the phrase, “You are a dream come true.”  

But it is the photographs that arrive daily in Melissa’s email that reveal the excitement both parents feel. 

“When she was born June 7, she weighed five pounds, 1 ounce,” Marty said, adding proudly, “and she already weighs 10 pounds.”

Melissa displayed an album filled with picture of JaiLi, whose name the couple chose to honor her Chinese heritage. In one image, she wears an outfit from her parents’ first care package: the top says “Daddy’s Girl.” In another photograph, she is dressed in a tiny jean skirt. 

“She looks like a Kansas girl already,” Melissa said.

By October, Marty said, she will be. 
  
A JaiLi Adoption Fund has been established at Golden Plains Credit Union of Liberal, 21 Medical Drive, 624-8491, under Darwin Martwick’s name. 

© 2008 Southwest Times